On the Universal Rights of Ducks and Girls by Tara Campbell
From: worthingtons@wilburton.orgMar 18, 2019
To: val_perkins@gmail.com
Dear Mrs. Perkins,
Thank you for your e-mail informing us of the incident that has upset your daughter Dolores.
What you describe in your e-mail as “duck rape” must have been bewildering for a young lady to see for the first time, but I assure you that it is a natural process. It occurs periodically in the spring, during years when the population of drakes exceeds the customary number, and there are not enough females with which they may reproduce. I assure you that the duck population remains healthy, and that there is no reason for concern. Nature finds a way!
Dolores’s instructors inform me that she has been performing very well in her first year at Wilburton Academy, and that she is well-liked among her peers. Starting at a new high school as a sophomore, when everyone else has already had an opportunity to acclimatize, presents its own set of challenges; but it is my hope that in the long run, Dolores will remember what she witnessed on the banks of our beautiful stream as merely part of her adjustment to a new environment.
If she has additional concerns, she may wish to speak with her biology instructor for more information.
Sincerely,
Samuel Worthington, PhD
Dean of Student Affairs
Wilburton Academy
Room 103 Ledyard Hall
Princeton ’88
Yale ’83
Wilburton ’79
From: worthingtons@wilburton.orgApr 5, 2019
To: val_perkins@gmail.com
Dear Ms. Perkins (my apologies),
Thank you for your clarification of the situation regarding Dolores and what she witnessed on our campus eco-habitat. As distressing as it may be to witness forced copulation among ducks, I assure you it is quite natural. Male ducks are merely following their mating instincts, and as strange as it may seem to us, it is not unusual for multiple male ducks to hold one female down for purposes of penetration. Regrettably.
But as our science faculty has explained to Dolores, and now at length to me, the female does have a means of defense against unwanted fertilization. Even though the drake’s sexual organ is, as you report, “long and corkscrew-shaped with ridges and [in some cases] tooth-like protrusions to ensure penetration,” I hope Dolores also explained to you, as her biology instructor tells me he explained to her, that the female duck’s sexual organs have evolved to avoid insemination during unwanted copulation. I hope that Dolores is aware of the twists and turns that the duck vagina has developed over time, a labyrinthine maze, and although unwanted ducks may gain entry, so to speak, no one but her chosen mate, her Theseus if you will, may slay the Minotaur of insemination.
I hope your daughter can truly take hope in the intricacies of the natural world unfolding right on our campus.
Sincerely,
Samuel Worthington, PhD
Dean of Student Affairs
Wilburton Academy
Room 103 Ledyard Hall
Princeton ’88
Yale ’83
Wilburton ’79
From: worthingtons@wilburton.orgApr 17, 2019
To: val_perkins@gmail.com
Dear Ms. Perkins,
Yes, you are correct that Wilburton Academy has only been a coeducational institution for the past several years of our long history, but I assure you that we are every bit as committed to welcoming our female students as we are to maintaining our fine tradition of academic excellence.
I also assure you that Dolores’s biology instructor did not mean to be dismissive of Dolores when he told her, as you say, “that’s just the way it is.” I will grant you that “Drakes will be drakes” was uncalled for, and surely meant as a bit of levity during a difficult conversation. But I do appreciate that it was not appropriate, and I will speak to him about it this week.
I would just like to request that on your side, you would discourage her from using the term “duck rape,” as this is a matter of biology, and not sociology or criminal justice. I understand that she is emotional about this issue, but there is also an element of academic rigor to consider.
Best,
Samuel Worthington, PhD
Dean of Student Affairs
Wilburton Academy
Room 103 Ledyard Hall
Princeton ’88
Yale ’83
Wilburton ’79
From: worthingtons@wilburton.orgApr 26, 2019
To: val_perkins@gmail.com
Ms. Perkins,
It has come to my attention that Dolores has begun a protest action on our campus, upsetting quite a number of our faculty and some of our students. I must ask you to speak with her. Surely, you’ve seen her protest sign, as I cannot imagine she could hide a five-foot by three-foot poster reading “Stop Duck Rape Now!” on her way to and from home.
Yes, the—incidents—do continue to happen this season, but I must remind you that it is not a given every year. I sincerely hope that Dolores will not have to witness nature at work next spring, since it distresses her so.
I would be happy to set up a meeting with you and Mr. Perkins to discuss further.
Samuel Worthington, PhD
Dean of Student Affairs
Wilburton Academy
Room 103 Ledyard Hall
Princeton ’88
Yale ’83
Wilburton ’79
From: worthingtons@wilburton.orgMay 2, 2019
To: val_perkins@gmail.com
Dear Ms. Perkins,
I appreciate the opportunity to sit down with you and your husband Mr. Evans (again, mea culpa). Regarding your suggestion that we attempt to control the population of drakes so as to mitigate forced copulation, I regret to report that, as anticipated, the proposal did not go very far with the administration.
Alumni, trustees, and yes, donors, have fond memories of Wilburton Academy, and a robust population of mallards is as much part of the Wilburton tradition as the rampant lion on our coat of arms. Violence is regrettable—abhorrent—but this is something quite different. This is merely nature. Nature, as God intended. You might consider this a crystalline glimpse into how things are, and have always been: the natural order of the world.
Civilization, Ms. Perkins, is what separates us from the animals. What keeps us in check. Perhaps we can reframe this as a powerful lesson for Dolores, and for all of us. We, fortunately, are not ducks. What befalls those poor female ducks on the grassy banks of the Wilburton Stream will not befall her as long as she has the protections of civilization, and surrounds herself with honorable young men. Male ducks, and male humans, may vary, but young women, like those courageous female ducks, have ways of protecting themselves.
You will see I have attached a PDF pamphlet from our Student Affairs Office that includes sexual assault prevention tips for young women. This may be where her preoccupation with the duck situation stems. I urge you to share this information with her.
Sincerely,
Samuel Worthington, PhD
Dean of Student Affairs
Wilburton Academy
Room 103 Ledyard Hall
Princeton ’88
Yale ’83
Wilburton ’79
Attachment: Where_Do_I_Fit_In_-_
From: worthingtons@wilburton.orgMay 7, 2019
To: val_perkins@gmail.com
Ms. Perkins,
I must insist that Dolores stop speaking with media regarding what she’s now calling “Duck-gate.” We were very happy to accept Dolores into our community on a generous scholarship in the fall, and the trustees are very displeased that their beneficence has been repaid in this most unfortunate manner.
Yes, of course I am aware of the situations referenced in your last e-mail. Those students have since graduated and are no longer an issue. Satisfactory agreements with all parties have been reached, and we would appreciate your cooperation in moving on, as we all wish to.
Not all ducks, Ms. Perkins. And not all boys.
Samuel Worthington, PhD
Dean of Student Affairs
Wilburton Academy
Room 103 Ledyard Hall
Princeton ’88
Yale ’83
Wilburton ’79
From: Jimeneza@wilburton.orgMay 29, 2019
To: val_perkins@gmail.com, d.perkins@wilburton.org
Dear Ms. Perkins and Dolores,
Thank you for taking the time to meet with me this week. I wanted to follow up with you on what we discussed. The required paperwork has been filed, so I’m now officially filling in for Dean Worthington while he’s on leave.
This week we began speaking with our regional ecologists and wetlands specialists to see what measures might be taken in regard to balancing the duck population. I’m not sure what may come of our inquiries, but I can tell you, they were surprised—it was apparently the first time anyone from Wilburton had ever asked.
We’ve also engaged an outside consultant for gender equity training, which will be required for all faculty, staff, and students. We look forward to expanding programming in additional areas of inclusion such as race/ethnicity, sexual orientation, etc.
I greatly appreciate your assistance in letting us know what we can do to create a more welcoming campus environment for ALL of our students.
Thank you, Dolores.
Most Sincerely,
Alva Jimenez
Associate Dean, Acting Dean of Student Affairs
Wilburton Academy
TARA CAMPBELL is a writer, teacher, Kimbilio Fellow, and fiction editor at Barrelhouse. She received her MFA from American University in 2019. Prior and upcoming publication credits include SmokeLong Quarterly, The Masters Review, Wigleaf, Jellyfish Review, Booth, and Strange Horizons. She’s the author of a novel, TreeVolution, and two collections, Circe’s Bicycle and Midnight at the Organporium. Her newest book, Political AF: A Rage Collection, will be released by Unlikely Books in August.